Ok. I admit it. I am a big Ben Stein fan. My first exposure to him was in Ferris Bueller’'s Day Off where he played the role of an American History teacher - it still makes me smile when I think of, “Beuller …… Beuller …… Beuller…..” (Thanks Chad). Stein’s part of the boring teacher in Ferris Bueller's Day Off was recently ranked as one of the fifty most famous scenes in American film.
It was only later that I found out that he was an incredibly diverse man. He was a speech writer for both President Nixon and President Ford. I then began reading Monday Night at Morton’s articles published on E-Online. I have enjoyed his wit and insight on many levels and will continue to read most anything he writes.
His book, “How to Ruin Your Life” is a great example of his sarcastic wit. Publisher’s Weekly says, “"Keeping a Chin Up Offering a tongue-in-cheek approach to living well, quiz show host and former White House speechwriter Ben Stein has written How to Ruin Your Life. Asserting that "failure is often a virtual road map to success in reverse," Stein tells readers, "[f]ollow these rules and you're guaranteed disaster. Avoid them, and you're on the high road to achievement...." He proceeds to explain how to "make yourself useless," "be a slob," "convince yourself you're all that matters" and "act like the world owes you." If ignored, his advice is sound and realistic, and may be the perfect way to push recent grads or other impressionable readers in the right direction.”"
This book will make great reading for teenagers who “have all the answers” to life. Adults who read it will laugh - sometimes with embarrassment - at some of the insights Stein offers.
How to Ruin Your Life is a powerful self-help tool in the form of a work of humor. It is sardonic advice, presented in a tongue-in-cheek style, explaining how people can "ruin" their lives. Topics include essays such as "Convince Yourself That You’re The Center of the Universe," "Think The Worst of Everyone," and "You Can Change People."
I thought I would type in one of his 35 lessons as a sample:
Number 27 - Don’t Clean Up After Yourself.
Throw away the apron. I know I'’ve mentioned it before, bit it is worth repeating: You are a perfect being whom others are supposed to clean up after. Just leave your dirty dishes and pots and pans lying around the house. Someone will clean it all up, even if you live alone. Leave your dirty clothes on the floor. That’s not your job. You aren'’t a day worker in a plantation house. You have things to do, worlds to conquer. Look, you'’ve seen Star Wars! Did Luke Skywalker or Han Solo go around doing laundry and folding clothes after ironing? Did either one of them clean the floors after Chewbacca had an accident? Now, it is true that in Gone With the Wind, Scarlett did lower herself to do some cleaning. But that was only meant to show you how bad things had gotten. When things got better, she had servants to do the dirty work for her.
So freaking what if people complain you are a slob? You don'’t live to please others! You live to please yourself, plain and simple! So get down and boogie, and let somebody else clean it all up. And if it gets too awful where you live because it is starting to look and smell like a pigsty, just move someplace else (but make sure you leave your place a complete mess for the next tenant.)
This also applies to emotional and financial messes. So what if you promised to love a man and he gave up his job and moved across the country to be with you? If you get tired of him, just cut him off without even a phone call. So what if you encouraged your partner to borrow money to start a business you were going to work with him on? If you changed your mind, that is his problem! You don’'t have to clean up the messes you have made. That is for the little people.
Your job in life is to please yourself moment by moment. I don'’t think that includes going around with a mop or dustpan, whether real or figurative. Make any mess you want, and then go merrily on your way. It is your right.
I have given this book on a couple of occasions to kids who thought the world truly did revolve around them - and to their credit - with a sly grin - they got the message. With this book - it is difficult not to.
This is not a “Biblical Book” - but it does teach biblical truths - in an effectively sarcastic way. This is a book that will stay on my shelf - and at some point - find its way into Joseph'’s and Nathan’'s (my sons) hands.
